The Internet

I have a first world problem for you. The internet at my parents (where I currently reside) sucks. I was recently staying in a charming coastal local with access to the NBN so returning this black hole (by anyone’s standards not just those with the NBN) has been particularly tough. The WIFI is so weak I have to use the data on my phone which means I’m almost up with still six days to go. I’m very likely to go over (Snapchat is very important to me). If I want to download something it takes about half my life (multiple days) to do so as opposed to the max 20 minutes it took in NBN land. But the worst thing is that inevitable moment that occurs at least once daily when Big Brother (a.k.a. my father) emerges from his dank, tomb like study, lined with bookshelves full of C++ and Java manuals, to see “Who’s Downloading!?” It’s much like the Billy Goats Gruff in this way; he is the troll, the bridge is the internet and my mother and I are the goats. Whenever he hears us tiptoeing across his bridge (notices the internet has slowed, beyond its usual snail’s pace, or seen the little light rapidly flickering) he comes out from under the bridge to determine who’s been using, or misusing, his internet (sometimes I’m not even doing anything).

This is hard for me as most of my life is lived online. Yes Snapchat and Facebook aside, there’s this blog, short story submissions, until the semester was over I studied online, and while I’m unemployed I’m trying to stave off poverty by selling things online. Everything I do, I do online.

So basically I need to move to this mythic lad that consists of NBN only or I’m going to lose my mind.

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